“And when you are in what you call the early stages of a relationship with another, there is that ‘getting to know you’ period when you are in discovery of each other and what each of you brings to the party. Once you have settled in, you tend to think you know the other person, backwards and forwards. You know what makes them tick. You know how to push their buttons.
And so you get into the period of expectation, where now you think the other one simply runs on autopilot and will always be the way they were when you discovered everything that you think you know about them. And this gives you all a sense of stability. You like to know what to expect. You like to plan around certain things because many of you like to avoid sticky situations, uncomfortable emotions, and so on.
But when you give your partner the freedom to surprise you, to be who it is they are completely in every moment and to demonstrate to you their ability to expand and to turn off their autopilot, that is when you really have something. That is when you are able to discover even more. And when you are willing and able to let go of preconceived notions about the one you think you know so well, that is when you can begin to let go of your own self-imposed limitations and surprise, even yourself.
We recommend that you let go and let yourself and your partner discover just how unpredictable you can be.”