“We are here, and we are pleased to announce our presence. We do like to make an entrance. And since we are coming to you from quite a ways away, we shall say that it has been worth the trip.
We are excited to interact with your species, the humans, and we are excited to be making this our first contact with the humans of your world. We are first contact specialists, so let us extend to you the olive branch of peace and let you know that we are here in support of you, in support of your journey.
We are only able to speak with you at this time through this particular channel, and we will continue to do so. We have a process that we are engaging in at this time. We have a set of standards, or rules if you will, about this sort of thing. And so you might say that this is step one – the introduction.
We are from a world that is billions of light years away, and we traveled to your galaxy through a wormhole. We have a ship. We are explorers. We are our version of the astronaut.
We have mastered space travel, as you can probably imagine. We are not looking to upset any of you, but we must say that we are far more advanced than your species. And we mean that in terms of our technology. We see ourselves as equals to you in every way. We just have had more time to tinker with gadgets and to create devices that could travel through space.
And so that is what we have done, and we are here to announce ourselves. We are here to begin communication with the Earthlings, with the human race. We do so now because you are ready, because you have heard from so many others that you are now ready to hear from us. We are absolutely excited to make this first contact and to explore the different ways in which we may be of service to each other.
We are downloading the name of our world to the channel, and he is interpreting it in your language as Quarnth. You may spell this Q-U-A-R-N-T-H. You may call us ‘Quarnthians,’ and we would like to say that it is a pleasure to meet you, indirectly, in this way. You shall be receiving many more transmissions from us.
And for now, we will say goodbye.”